Saturday, July 9, 2011

Moving.

I have moved my poetry blog "the platitudes of willful resemblance" over to WordPress with a stand alone domain address... willfulresemblance.com -
I am also exporting this blog to there and will now be combining the two. Thank you for your readership here and following me on WordPress is easy! There are two options...
1. in the top right column there is an option for e-mail delivery and
2. you can still follow from blogger. Just scroll down on the dashboard to where the sites are listed that you currently follow - under that is a button that says "add" - click that and insert the address of my new home - www.willfulresemblance.com - and voila!
If you use blogger in draft - the "add" button will be at the top of your following list.

have a great, mentally stable day.

 - Jhon

Monday, July 4, 2011

ill-sleep

night full of sounds keeping my attention burned toward all windows and doors. Fireworks last night coming from the abandoned golf course/coyote home tempting nature to blaze a fire in the tall grass. I nearly roused myself to avoid the fitful turning and secluded in my writing room to answer letters and reach out to some who do not send letters.
I'd a poem in mind which needed writing and ended as a haiku last night - but may be expanded or not. Shortened possibly.
nightmares which I instantly recall in vivid color but cannot bring myself to verbalize here or in life. I long to sleep without bad dreaming and without attention to sound.

I listened to Jesus Christ Superstar remembering when I last saw this show. After, as I stood behind a woman in a beautiful fur coat (bunny I believe) smoking a cigarette - Somehow I managed to burn several holes through the fur to resemble a smiley face - I don't know how that happened but it did, and that was the second time it happened to me. A number of people saw it but no-one said a word and all of them smiled.

I have a problem with people who don't live in the extreme north wearing fur.

I'm a hypocrite as I wear leather shoes, belt and jacket - the jacket while I am riding the m/cycle. No-one has ever thrown blood on me but I don't think I'd blame them.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

woke up early

then promptly took a nap.

last night the sound of glass breaking alerted me into action - pistol in hand I searched the house then the grounds around my home and my mother-in-laws - It was a sound that I've been dreading but there was, thankfully nothing or no one about.
After I awoke to every little noise and shadow movement perceived through half closed eyes.

most of the time these sounds and such as faces on the outside of the widow are of my minds making but K had heard it as well. I can only imagine what was going through the neighbors heads at one thirty if they saw me walking around with pistol pointed out - flashlight and laser on. I drew down on a raccoon who appeared scared shitless to have been met with the business end and a laser pointing at its head. The trigger was not pulled - otherwise this would be a story about how I am the killer of raccoons.

 and now for something of a tangent

One of my favorite artists is completing yet another painting that I want - this makes more than I can count. I only own one of his but I want more to adorn the walls of my writing room and home. His art challenges me to write and paint and love  - check him out here - HERE! - Warning: he doesn't sell his art which is a serious loss to folks like me.

Friday, June 17, 2011

I've been victimized but refuse to play the part of victim. I have survived but instead decide to live as on who persists.



living with contradictions

living with contradictions,
feigning indifference.
I persist.

 - Hoc Scripsi




My Child is singing in the next room - I love to hear him and he makes up his own songs, rarely singing that written by others. He is influenced only by life and finds its best expression in song and poetry.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

SSI

Finished applying for Disability and now onto the appointment with SS for the SSI - this is the hardest thing I've ever done and now the bees are circling - damn allergy is going to bring me inside for awhile. I've had to beat my heart against this wall to do it, admit that I am disabled and unable to secure work, meaningful or not - any work. There are only so many hours in the day that I can be really active and usually those are spent on my wife and son, writing and Legos. Legos are the shit.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

what is that wetness??

abrupt wake up in where I considered shooting my wife's cat. Little bastard pissed on my blanket to awaken me - which is odd as I don't feed them - ever. That is K's responsibility - I clean out the litter box and pet them - one sleeps on me sometimes and is my buddy (he had never pissed on my blanket which ended up on my foot), good cat he is.
I'll have to dig it up and finish it sometime today but I once wrote a little thing about cleaning up after the cats, a miserable job but I have the olfactory senses that allow me to be instantly reminded to get it done asap.
Having a great sense of smell is not a blessing though, I also have olfactory hallucinations where at any time I will smell something so powerfully it makes me light headed - sometimes it's all roses and candy or chicken - other times it's all feces and rot. I've sussed no pattern to it.

I've only six followers here - why? I only blog when I feel like it and the public is fickle, they want entertainment every day or they forget you exist. that is okay, this is a place for me to write and sharing is a sideline because I somehow feel better about it once I've hit "publish post".

Monday, June 6, 2011

?

What day is it? Monday? D-Day? going soon to get my head shrunk though I've no illusions of grandeur.
Spent the weekend tied to my laptop and when not, watching "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". Both versions played and there was some poetry written but not much. Today I owe letters to two friends, maybe three.
I am bound to this mind for eternity - as I am tethered to this coffee and cigarette for the next ten minutes.
I've no love for the wicked and therefore hold no hatred -
though I've a hard on in the wrong week and my mustache needs a trim.

contemplate my dis-ease, contemplate why it couldn't have been cancer.

I brush my teeth once a day - sometimes twice. I've stopped wearing deodorant as it causes me to itch and turn my armpits red, I need a shower and the ghosts in the windows are ever present while the noise screeches loudly like snow on a fifties television set.
I change my underwear and socks daily, but not my slacks - showering about two to three times per week keeps me clean and I have no particular scent that anyone finds offensive.
I wear shoes from the moment I awake to the moment I lay to sleep.
I drink Orange juice, water and coffee. rarely anything else -
I love guns, fine art and poetry. I love my wife and this is my advice for all - love yer wife, love yer life.